The Yellow-Brick Road

Now that Christmas 2005 is over, I'm starting to get really scared about how time passes by so fast. This next year has my stomach turning already. Because of that, I think I want to enter into 2006 with a bang but that's looking almost impossible in the city of Albuquerque. And since I've been dating John, I'm not too sure he'll be joining me. With his job as a police officer and his moral standings; his "bang" isn't the same as my "bang". What to do.....what to do???

That's just the beginning of my concerns for the new year, along with finally graduating college, my son's 5th birthday and starting kindergarten; a boyfriend is just a speed bump I'm trying to get over. I haven't dated anyone serious in sooooooo long, that I'm actually worried about myself. He's a great guy and we have awesome chemistry but we have a large amount of differences and I can't tell if they're going to be more positive or negative with us. I have this OCD about time management and the idea of not knowing where we might go, which really bugs me. I had this problem with Nick at first and then he convinced me to just let things happen.....that was the wrong thing or at least he was the wrong guy to do that with.

I'm not sure with all these other life changing things that are going to happen this next year, if I want to let them happen with someone at my side. There's this void inside of me that doesn't know if it really wants to be filled. Why can't I live my life like someone on the Young and the Restless because that describes me to the "T"? I'm young and restless but I don't need any drama, just maturity....with the occassional child-like qualities. I'm hoping this year will be a turning point in my life and that I'll be able to let my guard down. I have so many good guy friends that I question why I don't go for them. Oh, wait...thanks Estevan, you built a confidence in me that I find kind of conceited at times. I'm trying to get over that. But I'm still this incredibly genuine and sincere person.

I'm not going to let my A.D.D. get the best of me with this one. I'm willing to try for now because technically I'm not a quitter but I also don't like to waste time especially with something that takes time.

This is a sequel to my previous blog. Evidently, my impatience for people has continued. When did the lack of consideration become a part of Christmas. First, my bitching begins with the fact that the state I live in has no other resources for shopping, other than the one mall in a 50 mile radius. And the place where I pick up my income has to be located right behind the fricken thing. I never thought I'd get this bad especially during this time but as I was coming off the freeway a lady ( that's being nice), in a mustang decides she didn't want to wait in the right lane like everyone else getting off, so she stops all other traffic in her lane to cut in front of me. Oh, hell no. I laid on the horn so hard and kissed the ass of the car in front of me, that she had no other choice but to go behind me. Of course, being a cry baby that she was and didn't get her way she tailgated me. So, I took a picture my son had colored and wrote on the back of it, " Here's my holiday spirit (because for heaven's sake I say Christmas), "Why don't you fucking wait like the rest of us". And I stuck it up to my window for her to know what I was thinking. That was only the fuse to my hyper-ventillating, for this day. I won't get into detail about the rest of my lunch period, which includes the chapters: 1.Paycheck, 2.Bank, 3.Jc-Penny's, 4. Bob's Burgers, 5. Journey back to Work......

It's the voices

Surprisingly, I've actually worked for USPS, so the term "going postal" is something I'm capable of using. That is where I was headed 2 days ago. No, I don't work for them anymore....I now work somewhere worse. At least, this time of year it seems like it. And again no, it's not Toys-R-Us; it's in finance. Anyone who has ever said, "don't fuck with a person's money, is right". Especially when the clients are owed 1000's even 100,000's of dollars.

I had one of those days that I thought I was really going to just get up and walk out. And if I knew the bitching was going to continue through the next day, I would've worn a trench coat to work. But I think they got the gist of my frustration when I opened my big ass mouth. I cannot stand incompetence when it comes to upper-management. I mean is there a fricken school I don't know about that allows idiots to attend to become our future corporate america. I know what it is.....they flip a coin or maybe throw darts blind folded at a suggestion chart. Well, people it's not working and I'll tell you why. When you make a decision, make sure that's the decision you intended on making and not one you were thinking about because these things take time and effort to implement. If you're trying to close the books in a timeframe and your balance is a million dollars, don't change your process everyday to suit that days work. Because as it did the other day, it bit us so hard in the ass that we're going to be hurting for the next 2 weeks.

Because of this, I now have idiot syndrome to go with my dating-ADD and it's only been 2 months since I contracted these. For heaven's sake I'm only 25 and mentally I feel like I'm 60. Maybe I need to go back to my therapist. Yes, I had a therapist. Or maybe the retards (no pun intended) at my office can figure out what the hell the want us to do and keep it that way. I really feel like an idiot, trying to complete my job because I constantly have to ask if this is the way they want it "today". Ugh, I think I'm just stressed and overwhelmed this season and everything is a fricken irritant. I wish I was PMSing than I'd have an excuse for biting everyone's heads off. When they say, "Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them", I didn't listen.

Apache Junction Barbie Doll

What is up with this generation of man? I'm going to be vain....my roomie and I are attractive woman. I mean the men that we decide to pursue in our lives are good looking. And pursue as in, they have more to do with us than just your Friday night cocktail or dinner. But it's those ones that we randomly meet at bars when we just want to get out of the house. Take last night for instance. After visiting a yet another attractive guy friend of mine, Nick, we decide to go have a drink and maybe mingle. The vacinity of town we were in doesn't have much in bar selection, so we went to a Country western bar called Cowboys. Maybe I was thinking the football team, Cowboys! It wasn't 10 minutes after we got in before we were approached by 2 gentlemen.....and yes, they were gentlemen, overlooking their image. I think we wear some sort of stamp on our fricken forehead (mine of course waxed!!) that says, "talk to us regardless if you have game or not". This isn't the only night that we've been approached by Napoleon Dynamite's twin brother. It actually happens quite often and that's the sad part. Anyways, they buy us a drink in exchange for a dance....that's the first time I've exchanged a drink for that!!! Of caurse, Raych gets dragged to the floor right away because I'm trying to engage in stimulating conversation with this tall yet handsome young man.....(visual) about 6'3', trucker hat (he's an actual trucker), funnel pants, large belt clip, tucked in t-shirt, goatee but its separated into two parts (kinda like horns), a bodily aroma, and all his teeth but more like the colors of the rainbow. He could've been eating skittles, I'm not sure. So, I'm respectful and grateful for the drink and continue a nice conversation with him. He goes on to tell me that his family is also from AZ but they live in Apache Junction. That explains everything. He thinks I'm the Apache Junction Barbie doll.

This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, bowie knife, a 78 El Camino with dark tinted windows, and a meth-lab kit. This model is Only available after dark and can only be bought with cash, preferably small bills, unless you are a cop, then we don't know what you are talking about.

I didn't want to tell him he got the wrong barbie doll. Our night doesn't end with these exciting fellows. Well, at least Raych's doesn't. She gets approached by my grandfather's vietnam war buddy. I swear I saw his picture with my grandpa on Airbourne flight 92 in 1963. After his smooth attempts to whoo her, his grandson "the boxer" comes along and steals her from pops. I literally mean he stole her. He took her so fast to the dance floor that I thought he could've been speedy Gonzales. I felt bad for her because as I was still engaged in my stimulating conversation with Mr. Skittles, she was being wisked around like a rag doll. He had a death grip on her and all I could do was look into her breathless eyes as she endured the best night of her life. Not to mention our sexy men wanted to fight after that incident. I now know why W.C. Fields said," Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 3000 b.c." and I'm now going to stay away from the shit or at least help the ones that are hitting me, stay away from it. It gives people way to much confidence.

Secret "nasty ass" Santa

Okay, it's 2 weeks before Christmas and I normally love this time of year. But today started the beginning of a shitty week. I almost got into a car accident on the freeway because some dumbass with a ladder on his truck used Christmas streamers to hold the fricken thing on. Come on people, do you really think that shit is strong enough? If it wasn't for my cat-like reflexes, I'd be seriously injured. I think I'm a fricken liger. That's not the worst and it's only 9:30. I get to work and in the Christmas spirit, my office is doing the whole secret santa game. I was looking forward to this because I love to shop and I love to give surprises. Hell no....not anymore. I have on my desk a small traveling hairbrush, not wrapped or in a bag. What else could it be? It's a Goody brand, so I figured it has to be a couple of dollars and that's all we were supposed to do each day until Friday. Then I take it out of its plastic cover, which kind of looked scratched up anyway, and what I saw when it came out. The damn thing has been used. Gross.....ugh....gag....hurl!!!!! I'm scarred for life. I don't think I'll ever brush my fricken hair again. I think this person forgot and grabbed the most convenient thing in their purse. That is disturbing because I'm going to see them on Friday. I just picture this lady I saw one time at Walmart, using all the brushes to see which one she liked. Maybe it's just one of those. Whoever it is has blonde hair, so I'm scoping all the nasty blondes out. Merry "fricken" Christmas to me secret santa.

If you're a woman my age, then you've had your eyebrows waxed or plucked at some point. I do it on a regular basis and didn't have a probem with it until the other day. I went for my usual waxing and I even threw in a pedicure. My bad experience began when my little asian "beautician" came at my forehead with this massive amount of wax. Her intention was to go beyond my eyebrows and be spontaneous with my forehead. Did I stop her.....no. What the hell was I thinking? I figured this could be a new trend until my classmates gave a response that was nothing more than hysterics. I now know what botox feels like. I mean I can't scrunch my forehead. Ask me to smile, fine.... but don't make me look confused because my eyebrows don't move. Plus, I'm not even close to the shiny-smooth-non makeup-like forehead that I was told I would have. And I don't want to begin to describe the allergic reaction I got. Again, what the hell was I thinking? Who waxes their forehead??? Evidently, I'm going to have to continue this shit or else I'm going to have 5 o'clock shadow on my fricken forehead. Valerie was right when she said this is the stuff I do that keeps me single.

Am I Destined to be Single

So, I'm 25 and like Tyler Durden the "office geek", I lead a single serving life. Where's my Marla???? Of course, not that gender. Maybe it's me. I mean I get dates like the current squeeze. His name is John and I refer to him as Robo-Cop. Well, actually my clever and comedic roommate made that one up. But wouldn't you think with a rap sheet like this: college degree, respectable family values, employee of local police dept, great teeth, training to bodybuild and no height deficiency, that he would spark all interest from me.....well, no. I literally think I only have dating A.D.D. I mean come on, how many people get bored at such a fast rate. Maybe these men have too many good qualities and I need a bad ass......wait, I had one of those and I left him too. Okay, so it is me. Do they offer therapy for someone with such a diagnosis? Or should I just continue my dating spree? I think I am destined to be single, at least for the next 10 years and then I'll hit menopause and I won't want a man for another 5 years.