What the fa-la-la-la..........

Let me regergitate what my biggest problem has been in my life lately. MEN........ If my readers don't recall I have the shittest moments when it comes to MEN. Again, Am I Destined To Be Single? Sometimes I tell myself that I really don't have time for them but I wouldn't mind making the time for one. Huh??

This whole subject is brought back up because I've had some current situations that I need to get off my chest.

First off, my intention isn't to sound like tramp, but it may come across like that. My random dating sprees would give definition to that term. Although, I don't date seriously and I choose not to be sexual with all of them, so that could be why they don't stay. So, here it goes:

Nick: We have a great friendship when it comes to talking about each other's random relationships. I thought he had most of the qualities that I wanted but that's what I get for thinking, right? I wanted to date him seriously but he had some issues he couldn't overcome. I should've looked into some sort of Harry Potter potion to remedy that.

John: A good samaritan (a religious police officer), tall, good looking but boring. I mean his response to, "come over and get frisky with me", was "I will after I go to the gym and read a book". Are you serious????

Scott: A friend of my friends. He works where I used to work, so my friends know him pretty well. A great guy, tall, easy-going, cute but hasn't dated in years. I don't know if I have my cage fighting skills intact. I'm not ready to re-train someone into relationship status. Is that inconsiderate?

Kyle: Hasn't been in the picture for awhile but I'm getting these random text messages from him. I actually get butterflies with this one and I really don't know why, considering we've been friends for a yr but have only seen each other twice. But I'm assuming he big hearts me because all of his college buddies know about me, in a weird closeness kind of way. I'm just waiting for a letter in the mail, with the question, "will you be my girlfriend? check yes or no".

Jim: He originally came into the picture as my physical trainer at the GYM, hence the name. There was never a goo-goo eye look or sexual comment made at anytime. We were business professionals. That's until we both were liquored up and dancing (not very professional!). And I haven't been back to the GYM since.

So, in all retrospect I don't think I'm ready to date and I'm okay with that. I seem to find small irritations about each guy and that's a quality I need to change about myself. The good thing out of all this, is I've learned what I may be looking for in someone. Okay, that's bullshit...... but I have decided that I'm going to get mine, meaning sex. I've been on a dry spell for quite sometime now and JIM has agreed to contribute to my needs. What a swell guy???? So, being that he is a meat-head trainer, I also agreed that I'm doing this for my health. And here is my reasoning for this:

• 1. Sex is a beauty treatment. Scientific tests find that when women make love they produce amounts of the hormone estrogen, which makes hair shine and skin smooth.
• 2. Gentle, relaxed lovemaking reduces your chances of suffering dermatitis, skin rashes and blemishes. The sweat produced cleanses the pores and makes your skin glow.
• 3. Lovemaking can burn up those calories you piled on during that romantic dinner.
• 4. Sex is one of the safest sports you can take up. It stretches and tones up just about every muscle in the body. It's more enjoyable than swimming 20 laps, and you don't need special sneakers!
• 5. Sex is an instant cure for mild depression. It releases endorphins into the bloodstream, producing a sense of euphoria and leaving you with a feeling of well-being.
• 6. The more sex you have, the more you will be offered. The sexually active body gives off greater quantities of chemicals called pheromones. These subtle sex perfumes drive the opposite sex crazy!
• 7. Sex is the safest tranquilizer in the world. IT IS 10 TIMES MORE EFFECTIVE THAN VALIUM.
• 8. Kissing each day will keep the dentist away. Kissing encourages saliva to wash food from the teeth and lowers the level of the acid that causes decay, preventing plaque build-up.
• 9. Sex actually relieves headaches. A lovemaking session can release the tension that restricts blood vessels in the brain.
• 10. A lot of lovemaking can unblock a stuffy nose. Sex is a natural antihistamine. It can help combat asthma and hay fever.

May all of your sex lives prosper and make you a healthier person!!!