Grand Marquis vs Jetta Turbo

I went car shopping this weekend and let me tell you, it was the funniest experience I've had. For, the people other than my close friends, who know that I have a shopping addiction, wouldn't also know that I've pretty much maxed out my credit cards. So, in result I don't have very good credit. This makes things hard when trying to by a car, especially one that you would really want. But I went about my shopping with high hopes to getting something that I would be happy with.

All that shattered, when I arrived at Lomas Auto Mall. And yes, I'm saying the name in case any of my attractive, shopaholic friends need a car. Don't go there!!! This is why........ I was approached by your average salesman, maybe not average in height, but sales skills. I told him right off that I didn't have perfect credit and I was looking for something reliable, cheap, and somewhat trendy. He took me inside and said that he would see what he could do. As he went about his business, this old creepy man in cowboy attire, asked if I was being taken care of. I was polite and said yes, but he kept checking on me. Come to find out he was the owner. But that doesn't excuse his creepiness. So, Mario, my salesman, told me he had a car that I would qualify for. I was stoked. Keep in mind I told him what I wanted. We walk out to the lot and as we approach this rusty, old Grand Marquis, he proceeds to say that this is the car.

Whoa, pause.......rewind. Didn't I say reliable, cheap, and trendy? Who did he think I was? A member of Valley Garden's Gang. I understand he was trying to help but they wanted $7000.00 for that car, that's not cheap. It was missing 3 hubcaps, the front grill, some tint and I think a few patches on the seat. And reliable......... would they pay for my funeral when I get shot because I'm confused for Little Sad Eyes as I'm driving down Central? Now, what about trendy? Maybe he thought I was moving to Los Angeles, where this car would be a trend but I'm not. So, I go on to tell him "Hell no". He had the nerve to ask "why not". I told him first off, I don't want a car like that and plus I live with a roommate, so how was I going to fit that bad boy in my garage. I would need a boat license to keep it on my property.

He left it alone after I persisted that I wasn't buying it. But they had nothing else to offer me, except.....get this.......... himself. He asked, since he already had my number, if he could take me out sometime. I didn't think he was serious until I got a phone call from him yesterday. Maybe he can take the Marquis on our first date.

Anyway, I did purchase a car and it turned out to be a good thing. I went to University Volkswagen and low and behold my sales lady was a family friend from about 27 years ago. I got an awesome deal on a Jetta GLS Turbo, fully loaded with butt warmers. It is pre-owned but the owners were 2 flaming gay guys. You can't get any better than that!!!! So, I hope my car shopping days are over for awhile because these car lots freak me the hell out.

Crash Test Dummy

So, this weekend I inherited another nickname, given to me by my best friend (besides "stalker"), which is "Crash Test Dummy". It's not really a subject to joke about considering I'm lucky to be untouched.

I had an eye opening experience and literally I mean "eye opening" because this accident is a result of me somewhat falling asleep at the wheel. Let's just say school and work took a toll on me that night. My whole purpose of getting out of this state was to relax, spend time with family and friends, and shop!! I didn't come close to any of those. If I only had a cocaine problem then I wouldn't be in this predicament. One huge rail would have kept me awake the whole time. But unfortunately all I do that keeps me energetic, is large amounts of red bull and the occasional sexual rendezvous ( too bad that's only occasional). It might've helped if I got a little riled up before my drive.

I'm just glad to be back home safe and sound. And since this was a life changing experience, I want to give my Academy Award Speech.

"I do want to say thank you to the officer that stopped and ticketed me, the cute guy named Leonard that stopped to comfort me, the drunk native americans that tried to help, the ambulance that passed right by me, the tow truck dude that picked up the parts of my car, Maricopa County for making such reliable property (guard rail), my best friend that woke up at 1am to relieve me of my stress, and Nissan for making a damn good little sports car that saved mine and my son's life".

Stalk or to Stalk (verb)
A general definition of it, constitutes pursuing a person, without their knowledge or approval by making yourself present in their presence. http://www.thesleaze.co.uk/celebstalkers.html.

Well, this weekend I happened to have inherited that title. With no names mentioned, of course my friends who know me and read my blogs, will have an idea of who I'm talking about. You see, I thought I had a guy friend that had the same mutual friendship feelings that I had. We agreed, after our small dating session, to remain friends. He'd call me randomly and give me updates on his love life and there was the occasion phone messages from him with needy gestures. I'd also call him to hang out and jokingly harrass him but it wasn't until recently that I actually got worried about him. If he seems to think I'm a weirdo for doing so, then let me let you decide if he's right.

He got involved with a girl that had a few toooooo many screws loose. After, a night of drinking and her drug usage ( I wasn't around for this but it's from his mouth), they headed back to his place driving down one of Albuquerque's main roads. Here goes the good part....... she precedes to open the passenger door, while the car is in motion, and jumps outs. Yes, I said "jumps out". Kind of like a James Bond movie, but she didn't use a stunt dummy, she was the dummy. He then runs over her, I think it was partial of her leg or something but she gets up and runs to the nearest gas station. He's freaking out, she's freaking out and the gas attendant is freaking out. She begs not to have the cops called and tells him to leave. So, he does. The next day she goes into his place of work, crying, and apologizes that she's basically a weirdo.

Now, you tell me, would you still remain in a relationship of any kind with someone that jeopardized your career, your trust, your friendship, and most of all your freedom?

After getting a phone call from him about all this, I had this small part of me that remained worried. Isn't that what friends do? Well, since this happened I would periodically check to see how he was doing. I'll admit one night my message was a little more adult rated than normal but I apologized. And that night, I did get him into trouble with this week long new girlfriend. I didn't know, so I told him that I'd back away.

A couple weeks passed and I hadn't heard from him, so Raych and I, during a night of drunken phone calls, gave him one. Still no response. I waited a few days to text him and gave him the opportunity to tell me to fuck off or that he was still living. Still no response. So, of course as a friend would do because I was never told I wasn't one, I felt something was wrong. Assuming the bad isn't the best way to go but it always comes first. A few more days pass and he hasn't responded to any of those other previous attempts, so as I was coming home from the mall I noticed his car was at work. He works on the same street as the mall, so no extra attempts from me. That's when I knew he was just ignoring me. I told him that I saw his car and that I no longer needed confirmation of his livelihood and I wished him the best.

His immature response was.....you stalker. Evidently, his degree didn't define that for him. I can't believe he could be so inconsiderate and immature to not tell me in the 1st place that he didn't want my friendship and then to blurt out a response like that. You really think you see the true sides of people, who praise honesty and openness, but some people need to look in the mirror and really judge themselves. It actually hurt. I think because I thought I had a good, honest, trustworthy, mature guy friend, which is very rare(and it still is), but in all perspective it was a temporary friendship for him to satisfy his need for a female friendship until he filled it.

The part of being called a stalker doesn't bother me because I know and my friends know, that I'm a passive and patient person and that doesn't come close to a stalker, so I'm completely acceptable with that label from someone. Although, I want people to know that don't know the word-for-word detail on this whole situation, that if was to stalk someone, it would be for a good reason, like sex or money!!! And nah, that wasn't one of the reasons here.

Beauty is in the eye of the Beerholder

I think we concluded after watching the movie "Road Trip" last night (because it has some fugly actors), and our experience in the women's restroom at Maloney's on Saturday, that some breeding shouldn't occur. So, our defense from now on comes from the Famous, Joey on Friends.... "When you look this good on the outside, who cares what's on the inside." God bless to all you good looking people that are breeding good looking off-spring.