AGE OF INNOCENCE


Have you wondered what really determines if you've grown up? What I may think is a way of aging, you may think it's just the sign of change. Well, I found a check list that answered my questions to the fact that I am getting old. And if you read through it, I'll guarantee that you are going to feel your age. And if you still do majority of these but are in your 30's, then I might suggest that you try and grow up.............


25 SIGNS YOU HAVE GROWN UP

1. Your houseplants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them.

2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.

3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.

4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.

5. You hear your favorite song in an elevator.

6. You watch the Weather Channel.

7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of? "hook up" and "break up."

8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.

9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up."

10. You're the one calling the police because those %&@# kids next
door won't turn down the stereo.

11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.

12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.

13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.

14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's leftovers.

15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.

16. You take naps.

17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of
one.

18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would severely upset,
rather than settle, your stomach.

19. You go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms
and pregnancy tests.

20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good stuff."

21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.

22. "I just can't drink the way I used to" replaces "I'm never going
to drink that much again."

23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.

24. You drink at home to save money before going to a bar.

25. When you find out your friend is pregnant you congratulate them
instead of asking "Oh S*$# what the hell happened?"

Bonus: 26: You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign
that doesn't apply to you and can't find one to save your sorry old
butt.

My Thursday Thirteen

I haven't had a whole lot of random thoughts but because of a few people that came back into my life from the past, I've had thoughts about, " what if"??? Basically, if I kept things a certain way in my life, what would it be like now.

1. What If I hadn't moved to Arizona when I was 12, then I might be the ring leader for 18th street gang and replacing my smudged eyebrows with a sharpie marker.
2. What If my best friend at the time didn't have a baby when she was 14 and scare the shit out of me, then it might've been me making that stupid decision.
3. What If I wasn't out enjoying my teenage years so much, then I might've enjoyed those academically correct classes I took.
4. What If I enjoyed the academically correct classes, then I still wouldn't be in college. Oh, wait that's just because I met the EX.
5. What If I loved my friend Carlos like he loves me, then I'd be touring the country with a professional PGA golfer.
6. What If I didn't have this spontaneous personality, then I'd have led a boring and uneventful life.
7. What If I could get over this small crush I have on someone named Thomas, then I might be mature enough to attempt another relationship.
8. What If I didn't have the ability to be independant with the support of my family and friends, then I'd be struggling to lean on someone and I'd be starving for attention.
9. What If I only settled for less, then I wouldn't have the confidence and desire to achieve and want more than just average.
10. What If I never applied for that Macy's credit card when I was 18, then I'd be driving a Mercedes, have 6 less credit cards and still living in AZ.
11. What If I never took my internship at ESI, then I would've lost the chance to know some of the closest friends I have.
12. What If I took a bite out of the apple sooner, then I would've never met the 7 dwarfs.
13. What If I never fell in love with Estevan, then I wouldn't know what love was and that it could create the one person that steals my breathe away.

Extra-Curricular Work Activities

If you go back and glance at the times that I post my blogs, you will see a slight time clash with what I call work. Meaning, I do this shit when I should be reconciling financial accounts. Don't worry, unless you're a vendor that I handle, your financial statements should be fine :>)
Now, that I have it clear on what I do at work, besides blogging, I also try to catch some zzz's but I'm running out of excuses when I get caught. Here is what I've gotten away with so far. Any new suggestions???

Best Things to Say If You Get Caught Sleeping at Your Desk
10. "They told me at the Blood Bank this might happen."
9. "This is just a 15 minute power nap they raved about in the time management course you sent me to."
8. "Whew! Guess I left the top off the Whiteout. You probably got here just in time."
7. "I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new business strategy."
6. "I was testing my keyboard for drool resistance."
5."I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relievework-related stress. Are you discriminatory toward people who practice yoga?"
4. "Darn! Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out howto handle that big research problem."
3. "Did you ever notice sound coming out of these keyboards when you put your ear down real close?"
2. "Who put decaf in the wrong pot?!?"

And my FAVORITE thing is ......
1. Raise your head slowly and say, "...in Jesus name, Amen."

Teacher Appreciation Week

May 15-19

Remember those days when you'd get stoked to register for school just to find out which teacher you were stuck with for the year. Or in high school and college, when you chose your classes based on your alumni friends that told you which teachers you need to get. Well, I want to say thank you to all the memorable and impressionable under-paid, under-appreciated educational faculty that taught me. And "Bite this", to the ones that made those classes I had, an ocassional living hell. As I continue to succeed in life, I know one day I might have to read a speech, if it may be for a Pulitzer or Academy Award, or just a simple lecture in the janitor's hall closet; I want to have it prepared for the people who gave me the ability to lead an educated path.

"As I stand before you today, I would like to acknowledge the people that helped

me to achieve this success, in what I call my life. In 3rd grade, Mrs. Barela you combed and styled my pony tail, when my mother was too sick to do it for pictures. In Fifth grade, Mrs. Phillips or Mr. Phillips, I wasn't quite sure if you were entitled to call yourself a Mrs. but you stuck up for me when I had to go to an honors class every week and the kids would say it was Special Education. In Seventh grade, all of my teachers at Rhodes Jr. High in Arizona, for taking in a Special Ed New Mexican student. I mean Honor's student. In Eighth grade, Mrs. Lopez for being the biggest bitch and affecting the way I look at English; Mrs. York, you would've had a better impact on my science education, if you would've stopped the overweight student aide from eating the pickles we needed for our project; and Mr. Cruz for allowing my creative side to come out during art class ( you should see the tagging on Highway 14). In Ninth grade, Coach Clark for letting me try out for the freshman football team. Although, we all know a volleyball player shouldn't wear her volley shorts to practice. Mrs. Richardson, I'm glad you didn't expel me for the time you got hit in the head with a nacho plate. That would've ruined my transcript and I really didn't do it. My Tenth thru Twelve grade teachers are kind of a blur but I know you all had a significant impact on my decisions, especially Mr. Colvert, your looks made it easy to get through Government and Ms. Gervasio, I want to apologize for the times I left during Debate to get high and came back with no effort to argue. As for my college professors, my opinions and thankfulness will have to bestow another speech. As an adult your ventures with me, has given me a different outlook on my appreciation for you. Again, I want to thank you all for the direction I'm going and may it be a positive or negative way, I'll be sure to blame you all for it".

MY THURSDAY THIRTEEN

( Instead of random thoughts, I'm going to list 13 addictions)

1. SHOES........ THEY NEED THEIR OWN ROOM. I NOW HAVE COLLECTED 63 PAIRS WITHOUT MY FLIP FLOPS. AM I PROUD OF THAT, NOT REALLY BUT MY FEET AREN'T COMPLAINING!
2. ACCESSORIES- INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO: PURSES, NECKLACES, BRACELETS, TOE RINGS, AND SCARVES
3. BEER AND WINGS- IT SEEMS LIKE EVERY PLACE I GO I TRY NEW FLAVORS
4. SHOPPING- ISN'T THIS EVERY WOMAN'S ADDICTION AND I DO TAKE TRIPS OUT OF CITY TO FIND NEW STORES.
5. MUSIC- I TRY TO OWN EVERY GENRE OF MUSIC, EVEN CHILDREN'S (THOSE VEGGIE TALES ARE HELLA HILARIOUS!)
6. PINK- MEANING I HAVE ALMOST ONE OF EVERYTHING IN THIS COLOR. MY SON EVEN WEARS IT WITH CONFIDENCE.
7. SUNDAY EVENING TV- THE 2 BEST SHOWS COME ON: DESPARATE HOUSEWIVES AND GREY'S ANATOMY. GOTTA HAVE THE TIVO!!!!
8. SEX- BUT THAT'S ONLY IF I CAN GET SOME.
9. MY HAIR- IT'S A BAD HABIT BUT I HAVE TO CHANGE IT UP. SO, WHAT IF I'LL BE BALD IN MY FIFTIES? I'LL LOOK GOOD TILL THEN...........
10. DANCING- SOMETIMES I EMBARRASS MYSELF BUT IF THERE'S GOOD MUSIC, MY BODY JUST MOVES.
11. TALKING SHIT- I HAVE A SARCASTIC ATTITUDE AND I CAN'T HELP BUT TALK ABOUT THE STUPID SHIT AROUND ME.
12. INTERNET- DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH CRAP IS OUT THERE IN CYBER SPACE? I CAN LEARN HOW TO COOK, SEW A SWEATER, SKATEBOARD, TALK IN A FOREIGN LANGUAGE AND COMMIT THE ULTIMATE MURDER, ON ONE WEB PAGE.
13. THE BEST ADDICTION YET......... MY RUGRAT- I CAN LOVE, LAUGH, CRY, IMAGINE, QUESTION, DESIRE, AND EXPERIENCE IN A DAYS CONVERSATION WITH HIM.